Friday, March 31, 2006

I'll Have What He's Having: The Screenwriter's Diet

Tesco are now selling their own brand of instant noodles for 8p. Eight pence! Roughly converted into all the different currencies around the world, the price of this said snack is: 0 cents.

While most of us can stretch our wallets beyond the budget range of a supermarket’s own brand, let me just say that these Tesco noodles are darn right tasty, and are a slightly smaller portion (perfect) than regular, more familiar products.

Also, what I like about eating them is that there’s only one item of washing up: the bowl in which they’re made and consumed.

So, currently going down a storm in the Stack kitchen is the ‘Noodles with Anything Snack’. Here’s how it goes:

Crumble the pack of noodles into a bowl. Pour 200mls* of boiling water into the bowl and stir the sachet of flavouring that comes with the pack of noodles.

Place a square of kitchen towel over the bowl, put it in the microwave and nuke for one minute.


Nuke for another minute.

You’re done. Eat immediately with a splash of soy sauce or Thai sweet chilli (yum-oh).

But wait!

Got any leftovers? Chicken, bacon, beef, pork, liver? Hell, there might be an herb lurking in the fridge too. Well don’t just sit there, chop ‘em up and mix them with the noodles.

Dee-licious. And simple. And quick. And no-washing up except for the bowl.

*I put in 300mls as I like a bit of sch-lurp with me noodle, and if you nuke the bowl for another 30secs/1min, the water dissolves anyway.


Lee said...

Wow, you must like your noodles really sch-lurpy, if they can actually dissolve water. Or are you using some kind of thus-far-unavailable-at-Argos brand of microwave? ; )

Anonymous said...

Dude! Way to put your readers off becoming screenwriters!

Or was that your evil plan all along...

James Moran said...

When I was a broke longhaired ex-student in Dublin, for several months I lived on pasta with sauce. Big bag of cheap shit pasta, and the cheapest packet sauces available - the powdered shit, just add water. So I basically lived on flour and water. After several months, I got ill for 2 weeks straight, 1 week of which I ate nothing at all and threw up every few hours. I came over here after I recovered, my sister thought I'd been kidnapped and starved, I weighed about an ounce...

Dominic Carver said...

Tins of econommy baked beans are best. Less than 10p a tin and all you have to wash up is the spoon you used to eat them.

Anonymous said...

Danny, this is far and away the best screenwriting blog. However, with the introduction of instant noodles, culinary standards have nosedived worryingly. Any screenwriter on a budget (ha, ha, that narrows it down) who ignores the benefits of a good vegetable soup can forget about cinematic glory and is fit only for listlessly flicking through the daytime soaps.

First, assemble your ingredients. We're talking fresh vegetables. So - carrots, onions, celery, (don't worry if you hate it) and cabbage (savoy only, which means green and crinkly). If you stick a white cabbage into soup the smell will have you chasing your dog out of the room. Got some courgettes, fine green beans and tomato? They'll excellent in the soup too.

Chop up everything into even sized chunks except the tomato which will make an appearance later.

Put the vegetable into a large, lidded pan with a little olive oil and and sweat them under a low heat for twenty minutes. Add a good pinch of sea salt while you're stirring.

Now, after the vegetables are soft and fragrant we add water and possibly a stock cube. But not much of either. If you've used enough vegetables there won't be much room in the pot for gallons of water. If you've got some good marigold stock powder, use it. If not and the vegetables are smelling wonderful, just add a good pinch more salt. Slice the tomato and add it now, too. Then put the lid back on the pot and cook the soup for 45 minutes.

Serve with digitali pasta or a little rice and some shaved parmesan.

Very cheap and very delicious. And if you can keep your hands off it, it should last for two or three days.

Danny Stack said...

Thanks Fran for the tasty recipe.

I'd just like to point out that I only have these cheap noodles once, twice a week (tops) and they're nearly always accompanied by healthy leftovers. Not a spot in sight...