Luck O'The Irish

Today is St Patrick's Day so feel free to drown the shamrock in whatever style you fancy. Rather aptly, this morning I awoke from a Guinness hangover (pre-Patrick's Day drinks, oh yes) to discover that ROY, the CBBC show about an Irish cartoon boy living in the real world, won Best Children's Drama at the RTS Awards. Yahoo! You may remember me wittering on about this fantastic show as I was lucky enough to be part of the writing team last year, wait, two years ago now!



This news is all the more exciting when you consider that it beat MI High and Sarah Jane Adventures, two great shows in their own right.

Anyway, it's the perfect Paddy's Day present, enough for me to seek out more pints of the Devil's milk, and large it up Irish stylee. All I need is a packet of Tayto, Galtee sausages, black & white pudding, and I'm all set for tomorrow's inevitable hangover. But shur, what harm?


Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Duit. That's Happy St Patrick's Day to you!

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Also, I should say, I had my first episode of Fair City on last Sunday. Fair City is Ireland's answer to EastEnders, and is the country's leading soap. I'm very proud to have written for both shows as I grew up watching them, wondering if I would ever get the chance to work on them, and now I have! Aw, isn't life nice sometimes.

Guarantees

In the world of screenwriting, THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES OF ANYTHING.

It's a sad and painful truth. Just when you think you've done everything right and worked your way up the system, and commissions are due or the exciting gig is about to happen, that's when you can end up with nothing.

There seems to be a few misconceptions about how the system works.

1) IF I GET AN AGENT, I'LL BE FINE
No you won't. You'll have an agent, which is good, but it doesn't hold out a guarantee of any work whatsoever.

2) IF I GET A COMMISSION, I'LL BE FINE
You'll be better off, certainly, and it'll do your profile good but it doesn't mean you'll get another commission, even if they tell you, or your agent, that you will. Plus, the commission could go tits up, resulting in you being rewritten or fired. Back to square one.

3) IF I GET A CONTRACT, I'LL BE FINE
You should be fine, yes. But not even a contract can guarantee what the contract says (amazingly). Sometimes, people just won't pay you, or the work will never materialise, and not even your agent can do anything when everything falls apart. In these instances, you'll need an expensive lawyer.

We all know writers are treated badly but sometimes the level of appalling behaviour is so inexplicable and devastating, it takes a lot to re-gather your strength and confidence.

The good news: keep writing, keep producing the goods, no-one puts Baby in the corner. That bad news: it's hard work, the system pretty much only serves itself, and THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES OF ANYTHING.

Remember that practical approach you had and the long game you had planned in order to make it? Double it. Nay, triple it. Put your head down. Keep writing original material. Blow people away. It's the only one-finger salute to the system that will probably earn you some reward or recognition.

Still want to be a screenwriter? Good.

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For more attainable satisfaction, here's Sam's fourth Grime City P.D. comic strip. Click to enlarge, he said.

Julie Gray/Chile Benefit

As some of you will know, Julie Gray’s seminar, ‘Idea to the Page to the Screen’, will be in London on 6th and 7th March (like, this weekend!) and then in Oxford on 13th and 14th March. To reserve a space in the seminar, please go to Julie's website or email classes @ justeffing.com.

On Monday 8th March, Julie will be in Oxford doing a 90 minute lecture called 'The Reality of Breaking into Hollywood: Agents, Managers, Producers and the Importance of STORY'. It's a great opportunity for students to get a bite-sized lecture on screenwriting while also supporting a good cause by donating whatever you can to the relief efforts in Chile.

So that's Monday 8th March, Oxford University, 7.30pm. Email naomi @ justeffing.com if you’re interested. Tickets to the lecture cost what you can spare.

Mind The Gap

Any form of distraction when you should be writing is usually classified as procrastination. Surfing the net, watching TV, blogging, tweeting, hell, even housework. You know the drill. Anything but writing. However, there's a form of procrastination that's not quite procrastination, yet it is. You're not writing, but you kind of are. It's a bit weird. It's 'the gap' - the gap between having completed all the necessary prep to write and actually starting the first draft.

The gap can be an awkward and confusing place. On the one hand, you're happy with your research and preparation. You feel confident about your style and approach. You know the emotional tenor of your characters and the journey that awaits them. You know exactly how scenes will pan out, happy in the knowledge that the audience will laugh and cry in all the right places. Yes, it's all perfect. In your head. You sit down to write the sucker. There's a pause. A hesitation. It's the gap.

What does it mean? Usually, it's a pesky insecurity about ourselves or what we're about to write. The perfect scenes in your head now refuse to flow from the brain to the fingertips to the keyboard to the screen. If it's a spec script, the gap can last a long time; so long, the script may never get started. If it's a commission, the gap lasts as long as the looming deadline. You're forced into writing something, anything, until you somehow bleed a first draft.

It's never ideal. It can send you into a real tailspin. But don't be afraid of the gap. Listen to it. You might feel ready to go and the script could be playing beautifully in your head but the gap's subconscious snag usually indicates some sort of problem. Something that you're not willing to admit. It could be a minor point or a major issue. Don't fret. Go over your notes and seek out the niggling doubts.

Luckily, the gap doesn't happen all the time. It's just one of those things. A unique form of procrastination when you're ready to start writing, but not quite. Yet another cruel and frustrating reminder that this writing lark is, like, hard, innit.

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And here, due to popular demand, is more comic book goodness from Sam's Grime City P.D. Enjoy!